Have you ever wanted to get even with someone? I
mean, have you ever felt you were so wronged or betrayed that you actually
imagined ways to turn the tables, to exact retribution, to shame the other and
emerge victorious and triumphant?
I've been there. But I learned something through
the years. It does not have to be that way and when I chose to set that kind of
thinking and acting behind me I found a sense of peace and freedom that I will
never surrender merely for a moment's satisfaction or self-justification. It's
not worth it.
At
one point in Romans 12, the apostle Paul quoted Proverbs passage as part of his instruction
to Christian on how they should live morally according to the commandments of
God. Proverbs says:
Proverbs
25.21-22
21 If
your enemies are hungry, give them bread to eat; and if they are thirsty, give them water to
drink; 22 for
you will heap coals of fire on their heads, and
the Lord will reward you.
It will be helpful, I think, to understand what
the context was of the teaching and especially why Paul quoted it. If Paul was
arguing for this moral conduct, then he was necessarily arguing against
another. What was it?
Paul was writing to the single church in Rome,
whose members were both Jewish expatriates and Roman former pagans. The morals
Paul was teaching were Jewish morals, and so were the moral teachings of the
other apostles – and in fact of Jesus himself. In fact, every one of Jesus'
moral and ethical teachings are found in the Old Testament. Paul's instructions
to church in Rome would have been familiar to its Jewish members, but not so
much to the Roman members because the contrast between Roman ethics and Jewish ethics
was stark.
Ancient Romans held that mercy, compassion and
unmerited kindnesses to others were vices, not virtues. Roman parents beat
their children for showing compassion or mercy to others, even their friends.
To win, to prevail, to improve one’s standing even by trampling on others was
admired and encouraged in the Roman world. When a Roman was wronged by another
it was mandatory that he get even. Better yet, that he retaliated more harshly
than he had been wronged.
The ancients’ social system was that of honor and
shame. It is the oldest system of human behavior there is. An honor-shame
system means that nothing is more important that where one believes he or she
stands in society. One’s place on the totem pole is paramount because that
social standing affects absolutely everything else. Honor-shame systems have
been deeply embedded across the Middle East for thousands of years and still
rule there, except in Israel.
An Iraqi explained what it meant this way:
Our sense of honor pervades everything we do. This isn’t the
Western definition of honor, it’s more like Hispanic honor of machismo.
Perception of manhood is vital and in fact it can be a matter of life and
death. A man without honor gets no wife, often no work, and in Iraq he may be
shunned or even killed by the own family depending on how grave the offense is.
Defending honor is part of our cultural heritage. It is the focal point of
everything we do and is jealously guarded. Honor means influence and power, our
foremost concern. Less power means fewer contracts, less money, less food,
angrier families. We must regain lost honor any way we can, even if it means
violently attacking the ones who dishonored us.
This is the way that almost every society in the
world was organized for thousands of years. Whether Japanese, Chinese, African,
Norse, Southern European or Native American, honor – one’s standing in the
order of human relationships – was of supreme importance.
Jesus preached consistently against honor codes
and the sinful habits of pride they cause. Luke 14 tells of a day Jesus went to
the house of a Pharisee leader to eat a meal on the Sabbath. He saw all the
other guests jockeying to sit near the host, the place of honor. He told them
that they were risking dishonor because someone really important might come in
and kick them out.
“But when you are invited, go and sit down at the lowest
place, so that when your host comes, he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up
higher’; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table
with you. For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble
themselves will be exalted.”
Across all human societies, people protect their
status one way or another. Social climbing, power grabbing and the jealous
guarding of one’s privileges or position are often paramount.
Jesus said no to all that: “For all who exalt
themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
The one-upmanship games and mutual back-scratching or back-stabbing ways of the
world have no place in relationships founded upon Jesus’ teachings. After all,
he ate with sinners and tax collectors, spoke in public to prostitutes and
other low-lifes, and died strung up between two thieves.
Jesus emphasized rejecting worldly standards by
his conclusion of the teaching:
He said also to the one who had invited him, “When you give a
luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your
relatives or rich neighbors, so that they may invite you in return, and you
would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled,
the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay
you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”
Alan Culpepper wrote, “Those who live by kingdom
standards and values now will not only bear witness to the kingdom but also
will be rewarded in ‘the resurrection of the righteous.’ Righteousness, not
social position or the esteem of others should be our goal.”
God is not interested in where we put our place
tag on the tables of life. “Instead, God looks to see that we have practiced
the generosity and inclusiveness of the kingdom in our daily social
relationships.” The old order offers merely the temporary reward of social
position. The new order brings the eternal reward of God’s favor.
So what does it mean to pour heaping coals upon
the head of one’s enemy? For a long time I thought Paul meant that when I
return kindness for another’s hostility, the other person couldn’t stand being
treated kindly instead of meanly and would burn with resentment. But Paul can’t
mean that because in Romans 12.9 he says, “Love must be sincere.” We cannot
sincerely, lovingly gloat over causing others to seethe with indignation at us
-- even if they are jerks!
Let’s take a look at Psalm 140,
which begins,
Deliver
me, O Lord, from evildoers;
protect me from those who are violent,
2 who
plan evil things in their minds
and stir up wars continually.
Then in verses 9-10 we read this:
Those
who surround me lift up their heads;
let the mischief of their lips overwhelm
them!
10 Let burning
coals fall on them!
Let them be flung into pits, no more to
rise!
Pretty rough stuff! The psalmist is using the
image of burning coals falling upon his enemies to symbolize the judgment of
God upon the wicked.
Now, here is Paul in Romans 12.
Dear ones, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the
wrath of God; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the
Lord.” 20 No, “if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give
them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their
heads.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
The coals symbolize the judgment of God in both
Proverbs and Romans. I think Paul is telling us that the commandments of God to
treat one another with loving kindness do not depend on how others treat us.
Everyone is liable to a judgment of God, so we must control our own passions
first lest burning coals fall on us as well.
The teaching is a Jewish one, so I asked my
friend and former co-author, Israeli Rabbi Daniel Jackson, for an interpretation. He sent back that
we are not dealing merely with human enemies here. We are also set upon by
temptation to sin. Daniel wrote, “The intention of Proverbs 25 is to direct our
attention to ourselves to control our passions, to ensure that in all
our ways, we are reminded that we are to be Holy in all our actions and
relations.” He wrote:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him bread, and if he is
thirsty, give him water to drink.” Honor him; treat him with Holiness. … We are
dealing with the Evil Inclination and its cravings. If your evil inclination is
hungry and wants you to sate it with “sins”, then feed it the Bread of Torah
[The Word of God, the Scriptures-DS]; if it is thirsty, sate it from the
Eternal Spring of the Divine.
Then, you are putting coals on its head, which is to say, you
have begun the refining process of separating out the dross from the silver.
"Submit yourselves to God," wrote the
apostle James. "Resist the devil and he will flee from you" (James
4.7). The most persistent and cleverest enemy we have is the temptations to
abandon righteousness as a way of life and holiness as our goal. The way to
resist and overcome is to choose godliness over ungodliness and feed the Bread
of Life to our inclinations to evil and wrong-doing.
When our enemies are hungry and we feed them,
when they are thirsty and we give them something to drink, we have done our
duty to God and one another. The others might continue in ungodly hostility,
but we have done all that we can do. Retribution, if any, is up to God, not us.
Our calling to live as, and lead others to become, disciples of Jesus Christ,
does not change.
A friend of mine once told me that he dreamed of
standing before Jesus after Christ had come again in glory. He said he was
prepared to recite the creeds, offer personal confessions of faith, confess his
sins and prostrate himself before the Lord.
But it didn’t go like that. Instead, Jesus sat
down next to him and said, “People live their lives as if they think I will ask
them these questions on judgment day:
“Did you get everything in life that you thought
you thought you were entitled to?
“Did you get even with the people who did you
wrong?
“Were you worried about what other people thought
of you?
“Did you hold on to grudges and imagine ways to
hit back?
“Did you treat other people based on what they
could do for you later?
“Tell, me, is that how you lived your life?”
My friend said that in his dream he had no reply
but was filled with remorse. Then Jesus said, “Here is what I really want to
know:
“Did my light shine through you in the way you
lived?
“Did you forgive the people who did you wrong,
even seventy times seven times?
“Were you worried about what I thought of you
more than what other people thought of you?
“Did you pray for your enemies and do good to
those who did you wrong?
“Did you treat other people on the basis that my
love for them was as great as my love for you?
“Tell me, is that how you lived your life?”
I think that’s a pretty tough final exam, but one
we need to make sure we pass.
21 If
your enemies are hungry, give them bread to eat; and if they are thirsty, give
them water to drink; 22 for you will heap coals of fire on their heads, and the
Lord will reward you.
Which is to say, offer them the bread of life and
the living water of God. Offer them Christ. It really is so simple as that.
