From my teacher and friend, Ben Witherington:
(with apologies to and adaptation from Robin Williams Top Ten Reasons to be an Episcopalian).
10. No snake handling (a real sales feature in Kentucky).
9. You can believe in dinosaurs.
8. Male and female God created them, male and female we ordain them.
7. You don't have to check your brains at the door.
6. Even cross and flame boxer shorts are not considered a tacky Christmas gift for clergy in the UMC.
5. The church year is color coded, to make it easier to follow.
4. No alcoholic has to worry about communion causing a relapse.
3. You don't have to know how to swim to get baptized.
2. All are welcome to come as they are, but none are allowed to stay as they are— 'you must be born again and justified'!
1. We have the best hymns— hands down, even if your hands are up while singing them.